Something Big Is Coming!
I wish I could announce what it is, but it will have to wait about another week, but I am chomping at the bit about it. Something big, something wonderful.So I won't tempt myself to spill the beans yet.
In other news, I am putting together my May trip to England and Sweden. I have some tentative presentations in place, but not enough for me to put it all out there yet. I will be at the Oxford Friends Meeting on Sunday May 13 from 4-6 PM doing a bunch of excerpts and lively talk. Some great stuff is coming together in the Swedish university city of Lund and IDAHO.
Oh, which reminds me! Daniel C, I have gotten your e-mails and every time I reply, I get a message that your provider won't accept my e-mails. What nerve. So please fix that so we can talk about hanging out in Stockholm on 19 May!
What else...I am planning a road trip with my Dad to North Carolina. I have some shows in Greensboro and thought it would be fun to travel in the car with Dad. We had such a blast last November driving 1200 miles to the Mid-West.
So something BIG is coming, but I can't tell you yet, but it is about...no, I mustn't...but I...no, must s t o p b l o g g i n g .
Okay, I am off to True Colors to present Dragged Out of the Spiritual Closet- a collaborative theater piece with Momma and me!
posted by Peterson Toscano @ 7:58 AM
14 Comments:
Hurray for big things! Also: you're such a tease! Stop it!
Have fun with Momma. (Dang, that felt weird to say.)
Hmmm, perhaps you're getting so BIG that e-mail services identify your e-mails as spam.
I think we should start rumors about the news. What's community without rumors?
Let's see...I heard that they're going to make a movie of Peterson's life, and he's going to play ALL the roles. There was some trouble during negotiating compensation since Peterson thought each character should receive his or her own salary.
Stop teasing, you!
oo o o o o o o
SOMETHING BIIIIG
Well. stupid email
Try my sanningen@yahoo.com
should work
19 May
noted!
Oh get a newer version of skype!
I am more than certain that your big thing will be the announcement of your inevitabe future as a resident Swede.
You are such a tease. I think you're making too much of a connection with your inner Chad.
And I would guess, but how can I be any more dramatic than the master? (Or is that melodramatic?)
Yeah, real big and if you were at my workshop at my Homo No Mo-Ex-Gay Primer Workshop True Colors today, you would have heard about it, but alas you are all too busy in England or Sweden or California or Texas.
Well you will have to wait until April 2nd. It is a big day this year. Big. BIG! B I G ! !
You and Dad should keep on driving south from North Carolina until you get to, say, Tampa.......
-- Tom D.
April. That will probably translate to November in Sweden.
The Rumor #2:
I heard that Peterson is going to start a cable network -- "Gay Christian Broadcast Network". Each day, there will be live programming with fabulous, baroque sets. Momma will host and wear lavender wigs.
Due to financial restraints, Peterson will use several of his alternative personalities to host each program in the GCBN line up. Marvin will be manning the phones to take prayer requests and accept donations. Robert Tilton out takes will be shown after midnight.
Hurry! Call! Make a pledge today! Juh-eezus is counting on you!
kj, hahahaha!
Hey! Nobody else is playing and I can't stop myself!
Rumor #3:
I heard that Peterson is going to release a complete line of alternative personalities available for purchase. The product line will be available through "Toscano R You."
At the official website, shoppers will be able to select a personality that best represents where they would currently like to be on life's journey. Rather than going through the painful and lengthy process typically required by growth and change, consumers will be able to download the necessary programming to their computer (PC and Intel Mac compatible).
To avoid homogeneity of populations, self-checks are built into the distribution software in order to avoid situations in which cities might fear an alien invasion (e.g., Marvin does New York).
Wardrobes will be sold separately.
Oh I'll play the game, kj, let's see now...(thinking)...ahh, I've got it...
Rumor #4
Peterson pays homage to the ex-gay movement's fixation on imposing American cultural masculinity on those within its grasp in his newest production:
For God's Sake, Chad, Act Straight!
Watch as Chad learns how to walk, talk and dress like a typical American straight male. And most important how to properly execute the masculine ritual known as the "I'm not gay" hug.
FYI: The "I'm not gay" hug works like this:
1. You stand in front of your male friend, not too close!
2. You lean forward so you avoid that dangerous lower body contact.
3. You put your arms around him, not too tightly!
4. You briefly hold this position while slapping him on the back three times to the rhythm of I'm (pause) not (pause) gay.
Remember you must keep hug time to a minimum as you might unduly influence other men to show affection to each other. And we all know how God feels about that. Why Western Civilization might just crumble if this happens!
PW, Brilliant!
As the recent Daily Show clip revealed, ex-gay nonsense can be exposed while one does not have to work very hard to be humorous.
Peterson would probably have to give credit to various ex-gay programs as "contributors".
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